Last month, I had a conversation with someone who I highly respect. He raised a very interesting question. He asked, “What are your thoughts about people who kick puppies?” My immediate reaction and response was that I can’t respect anyone or even understand why someone would kick a puppy. Morally and ethically I believe it is wrong. His question came from a philosophical point and I was challenged to understand how we could even have this conversation that went beyond my initial response; “it’s just not right”.

Consider Different Perspectives

As a coach, I challenge my clients to consider various perspectives because I know through experience, as well as from my trainings to become a professional certified coach and my studies for my MS, Mediation and Applied Conflict Studies, that there are multiple sides to every story. There are multiple ways to look at any given situation. There is no 100% absolutely right nor 100% absolutely wrong perspective. When this person re-framed his question and asked, “What are your thoughts about people who kick puppies because they are being attacked by the puppy and physically getting hurt?”, my perspective shifted immediately. I realized the word “puppy” may not have been referring to an actual young puppy. In fact, I still refer to our eleven-year-old dog as a “puppy”.

This question came at a very interesting time because I had just had a very heated conversation with someone who I truly care for. What I recognized during that conversation was that we were having a significant challenge communicating in a healthy way because there was no room for listening. When people get stuck in their position it’s hard to listen with an open mind and hard to shift the conversation to get to a healthy place.

Listen with an Open Mind

These types of entrenched positions happen in all relationships and systems, personal and professional. Being willing and open to listen with an open mind and a growth mindset, considering different perspectives, makes all the difference in moving a conversation forward in a productive way.

A few tips to becoming more open-minded:

• Be curious, start with a beginner’s mind
• Practice active listening – this can slow down the conversation and help to clarify any misunderstanding in the moment
• Be open to having the other person want to explore and/or challenge your perspective
• Engage in brainstorming a variety of perspectives
• Don’t take a challenge of your idea, belief or perspective, personally
• Work to build your self-awareness (especially around your biases)
• Let go of a need to be “right”

What other tips do you practice to work towards becoming more open-minded?

What do you notice about your ability to be open to other perspectives? How do your emotions come into play? How does this show up in your work-life? Looking to learn more about the value of considering various perspectives and increasing your capacity towards becoming more open-minded? Let’s connect.

“It is a narrow mind which cannot look at a subject from various points of view.” – George Eliot