“What are some other ways you can look at this?”

That was my entire reply to a client who emailed me feeling overwhelmed, unsupported, and convinced that what was happening to them was unfair. They were hoping I’d tell them what to do. I didn’t.

The next morning, they wrote back. It was the most positive message I’d received from them since a major change in their professional life. Overnight, they had found the opportunities hiding inside what had felt like a setback. I hadn’t solved anything. I had simply given them the space to solve it themselves.

The pull to fix it

If you’re a leader, you probably know the urge well. Someone brings you a problem, and you jump straight into problem-solving mode. It feels helpful, efficient, even generous. But it often isn’t as helpful as we think.

When I ask clients what happens when their leaders step in to solve problems for them, I hear the same themes again and again:

• Dependency. People automatically come to you for the answer, the opinion, or the approval instead of working it through themselves.
• Lower confidence. If someone else always has the better answer, people stop trusting their own.
• Loss of agency. The motivation to own decisions fades.
• Lower competence. Over time, people convince themselves they aren’t capable of solving problems on their own.

Now think about the ripple effects. The person on the receiving end stops growing. The leader becomes a bottleneck, buried in decisions that others could make. Productivity slows, and the team grows more passive. When I see this pattern on a team, I know there’s work to do to move them toward being a healthier, higher-performing group.

What changes when you hand it back

When leaders trust and empower their people, something different happens:

• Ownership replaces dependency. People step up and make decisions.
• Confidence and competence grow. Each problem solved becomes proof they can solve the next one.
• Leaders get their time back. Delegation becomes real, freeing you to focus on the work that truly needs you.
• The team gets stronger. Trust builds in both directions, and performance follows.

Empowering others doesn’t mean disappearing. You’re still available. But you shift the focus and show people you believe in their ability. You challenge them to step in and make choices. Sometimes those choices won’t be the right ones, and that’s part of how they’ll learn for next time.

Try this instead

The next time someone brings you a problem, resist the urge to answer right away.  Try one of these questions which are commonly used in the world of professional executive coaching:

• “What options have you already considered?”
• “What would you do if I weren’t available?”
• “What’s the first step you could take on your own?”
• “What are some other ways you can look at this?”

Then pause, and let them think. You may be surprised by what they come up with, just as I was.

If letting go feels hard

For many leaders, this is easier said than done. If you find yourself struggling to trust, to let go, or to feel you have to stay in control, you’re not alone, and there are practical tools that can help. That’s exactly the work I do with leaders: turning communication into a strategic advantage that builds trust, strengthens leadership and culture, and empowers people to do their best work.

If that sounds like you, or someone you know, let’s connect.

“The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when someone asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer.” – Henry David Thoreau