We get what we expect. How true is this for leaders? How true is this for parents? I recall as a young mother learning that if we say to our child, “bad boy” they will start to believe they are bad. What I learned was the importance of helping them to understand that the behavior was inappropriate or even “bad”. It was important to explain the why and explore better ways to address whatever the situation was. This is an example of getting what we expect – if you tell your child they are bad time and time again – their belief will manifest, and they will likely act badly more often than not.

This is true in leadership – leaders get what they expect.

A lived example

I recall working for a non-profit leader who was very hands off and rarely set expectations or goals. Every morning she came in asking how much money we had received in donations that day. Most days I didn’t have the answer as my team hadn’t finished opening all the mail and tallying the receipts for the day. I was often frustrated that I didn’t have the answer in the moment. Looking back, could I have set different expectations for my team? Perhaps. And, I could have set realistic expectations for this leader as well. What I recognized when I was making my decision to move on from the organization, was that when something was important to this leader, she was overly involved, almost in a micro-managing way, and in other areas, where I wanted to make improvements to processes that would positively impact the organization, she lacked interest. I worked to make a lot of positive changes, but she wasn’t ready for them or didn’t feel the need for them. This mix of her being overly involved or not interested at all, resulted in my losing interest and becoming disengaged.

What I have seen with my clients

I have supported numerous leaders who share frustration about the performance of their direct reports. A common theme among them is how and what they, as leaders,  are communicating with their people in an effort to “change” them. As we know, we cannot change others, we can only change how we are with others – including how we lead, communicate and respond. I came across this article – entitled “In leadership, you get what you expect”. I am sharing it with some of my clients to offer them some “psychology” behind what we have talked about and perhaps some new perspectives.

There are many helpful pieces of information, or reminders, in the article. Consider this quote from the article. “If we accept that expectations change biology, cognition, and motivation, then leveling them appropriately becomes one of leadership’s central tasks.” As stated, many leaders find it challenging to  clearly set and communicate expectations and hold others accountable. And, this often leads to frustration with others. It is common when we take a deep dive we notice that the results they witness or receive from their direct reports are a reflection of what has or has not been communicated whether verbally or through body language or other actions.

As the article states, “Be Careful What You Expect, Because You Might Get It”. “They [leaders] expect more, but enable less.”  “Great leaders don’t set expectations and step back. They ask, ‘What do you need from me to get there?’” When their focus is on empowering others, sometimes there is a true disconnect because not enough conversation has taken place. They tend to either be too involved, or not involved enough. Finding the right balance can be challenging for many.

If you are looking to improve your leadership, drive better results from your team, or want to be able to get clear about your expectations and how best to communicate them, I encourage you read this article. And, if you want to take it a step further, I support leaders at all levels to increase their effectiveness including gaining clarity on expectations and setting them, communicating effectively, and building a culture of trust through effective and meaningful empowerment. Let’s connect.

“If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you develop the habit in little matters.” – Colin Powell