A client of mine recently shared that she has been having ongoing conflict with a key stakeholder who is a critical element to ensure success in her business. My client acknowledged that it was time to change her behaviors and mindset when relating to this key stakeholder. Typically at odds and in conflict, my client realized that in order to successfully move forward with this key stakeholder, she needs to let go of her “stuck” position, in other words, stop being entrenched in her perspective of this key stakeholder and enter with an open mind to what’s possible.

This is a very difficult challenge, and one that is often a challenge for many. By staying stuck in one’s position, it is highly unlikely the two people in conflict will have the opportunity to find common ground, much less find the ability to collaborate in a healthy, beneficial way.

This level of entrenchment or conflict is not uncommon to see in:

• Organizational Teams
• Individuals within organizations – including staff and leadership, or supervisor and direct report
• Families
• And other relationships!

When considering how to effectively engage in conversations to create the opportunity to move forward in a healthy direction, it’s important to be able to:

• Truly listen (active listening)
• Be open to what the other person is saying and open to their perspective
• Let go of a fixed mindset and rather approach the conversation with a growth mindset
• Make deliberate attempts to find options and solutions that are mutually beneficial
• Pay attention to what’s important to the other person and do your best to honor what they share as “their needs”
• Notice your own triggers

What else have you found helpful in trying to manage, or move beyond conflict?

If you are a leader or HR professional looking to find ways to address conflict within your organization or on your team, I work with leaders, teams, and organizations helping to create healthy cultures, including how to engage in difficult conversations, practice active listening, empower others, and much more! Curious? Let’s connect. 

“When we aren’t curious in conversations we judge, tell, blame and even shame, often without even knowing it, which leads to conflict.” – Kristen Siggins